How To Discuss A Non-Monogamous Lifestyle With Your Partner

non monogamous couples

Also known as open relationships, being non monogamous isn’t for all couples in committed partnerships. If the idea of inviting a third, stepping out on your partner with a hall pass or are interested in swinging, there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about approaching it. Sometimes It can be tricky bringing up such a topic with your lover for fear of hurting their feelings or offending them.

Couples involved in serious relationships should be able to discuss any topic of conversation with each other without judgment. It’s worth considering an open marriage or partnership as non monogamous couples are often involved in loving, committed and enduring relationships.

Let’s explore how to approach a current lover about considering swinging or a non monogamous agreement.

Do Some Research Privately Before the Discussion

Before diving into any conversations with your partner, take time to do some exploring about what open relationships are all about, what couples go through along with the potential benefits and pitfalls they face. You might be surprised to find that you have some misconceptions about non monogamy or the swinging lifestyle in the ‘real world’ beyond your vision of the practice.

Two recommended resources are from lifestyle websites and blogs. Online blog sites are be a great introduction and are great resources to get you started. You may also want to as real-life or virtual friends in the lifestyle to share their experiences and advice through lifestyle forums and discussions boards.

Talk to Your Partner – Have an Open Honest Conversation about Open Marriage or Relationship

If after doing some research you’re still interested in becoming one of a growing number of non monogamous couples, have a careful and considerate discussion with your partner. If they have a similar interest that you never knew about or are willing to give it some thought, recommend your favorite resources you discovered in the research phase.

This can encourage them to get more comfortable with the idea and to do their own research. Be forewarned, some people’s initial reaction to swinging or any open relationship in general is being brought up can be self-defensive. By being gentle and slowly introducing the idea to them, partners are less likely to take it the wrong way or negatively.


Don’t Rush Things

Unless both parties are ready to get out there and make it happen right away, some patience will be necessary. All good things take time to process and develop, so getting an answer could prove to be well worth waiting for. Making the swap to partner sharing or swapping should be approached slowly.

Experts also recommend being patient due to the cultural norms that are typically monogamous. This means that more time may be needed to get fully prepared to deal with the social stigma that often accompanies non monogamous couples and swingers.

Consider a One Time Threesome

Test the waters out by having a threesome, which doesn’t necessarily require full-on sex. This is a good way to see if you like it and whether you want to embrace individual swaps or winging in the future. Also, many couples feel more comfortable when staying together especially at first. Talk to your partner about their preference before delving in.


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