Non-monogamous couples choosing to explore an openly non-monogamous lifestyle require clear communication and boundary setting for these alternative relationships to work. The non-monogamous lifestyle encompasses various forms of consensual non-monogamous relationships, from open relationships to polyamory and beyond.
Here, we’ll offer tips for non-monogamous couples navigating this alternative lifestyle.
Defining Your Non-Monogamous Relationship
When first opening up a relationship, it’s important for non-monogamous couples to clearly define what type of non-monogamous relationship dynamic they want. There are many unique forms of consensual non-monogamy, including swinging, polyfidelity triads, relationship anarchy, and more.
Non-monogamous couples should have in-depth discussions regarding their ideal relationship structure, individual goals in exploring non-monogamy, and what each partner is comfortable with in terms of outside relationships. Get specific on details like how often outside partners can be seen, whether intimacy is allowed and what kinds, and if it’s acceptable for a partner to fall in love with someone else.
Is the non-monogamous relationship open sexually, romantically, or both? Clearly verbalizing agreements upfront helps avoid conflicts down the line for non-monogamous couples.
Setting Rules and Limitations
Once a non-monogamous couple aligns on the type of open relationship they want, the next step is discussing rules and limitations. This helps mitigate potential hurt feelings and jealousy issues that may arise.
Common rules adopted by non-monogamous couples include using protection with new partners, disclosing new partners to each other, avoiding sexual/romantic connections with mutual friends or coworkers, no sleepovers with outside partners, etc. Non-monogamous couples should think through what scenarios would make each partner uncomfortable, and establish rules accordingly. Rules can always be modified later as needed. Non-monogamous couples may also implement a “veto policy,” allowing either partner to request ending an outside relationship.
Navigating Alternative Dating
Entering the world of alternative lifestyle dating and meeting partners can be exciting yet challenging. Many non-monogamous couples turn to niche dating sites and apps tailored for those seeking open relationships, swinging, polyamory, etc. Such platforms allow couples to connect with like-minded individuals interested in non-monogamy. However, stigmas still exist surrounding non-monogamous relationships, so couples should take precautions around privacy and safety when alternative dating. Thoroughly vetting potential partners, clearly communicating boundaries, and practicing consent are key elements non-monogamous couples should emphasize.
Successfully navigating non-monogamous relationships requires ongoing introspection, honest communication, and respecting the autonomy of all partners involved. While it takes work, non-monogamous couples who invest in these core elements often find great reward in exploring consensual non-monogamous connections.
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