BDSM couples arguably have it all—a loving partner, cozy play pals and most importantly, permission to engage in controlling situations when one agrees to such role play. Within the realm of BDSM, dominants take the reins and submissives play a ‘slave’ role.
The level and what is included in this control/submission relationship varies depending on the couple and their arrangement. Some BDSM couples have full-time agreements (think 50 Shades of Grey) while others might just dabble.
The Role of Dominants and Submissives
Doms tend to have an urge for control, while their willing slave is eager to satisfy them. The psychology here will likely never be fully understood, but the major interest folks have in the BDSM lifestyle in general speaks loudly to attest that partners indeed enjoy this dynamic in sexual activities.
Once getting deeper into the BDSM lifestyle, many couples see the vast similarities and mutual pleasure that stems from these very different ‘roles.’ The bottom line is fulfillment and satisfaction are gained by all parties involved here. It is willing, and agreed upon far before any clothing ever comes off. That being said, here’s the basic ideology and definitions most commonly understood.
Dominants: Dominant partners in the BDSM lifestyle ideally guide, lead and protect their sub/slave while commanding their full obedience and compliance. They offer punishments, rewards and after-care as needed.
Submissives: The slave/sub is often dubbed a ‘baby girl’ or servant whose aim is to please their dom. They are willing and happy to meet their master’s expectations and will go miles beyond the ‘norm’ to exceed their wants and needs.
These loosely based rules can get tricky, because a dom and sub can swap dynamics and fulfill the alternate role if they choose. On the other side of the fence, some engage in such relations only during sex, while others might have a full-fledged daily agreement and work with this as a way of life.
Ultimately, a slave dom relationship isn’t for everyone, and is not a cut and dry territory, so ease in and find your ‘happy turf’ in the BDSM lifestyle.
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